My mums last purchase was a pair of headphones from the apple store, which was not quite a shocker. She always had listened to her ipod as if it was a religion of some sort. Her headphones would usually go through trauma cases, dropping them in the sink, losing them, she frequently went to go buy pairs. I was also slightly glad she went to the Apple store, it was always fun for me to relax at the store and browse. I had always enjoyed spending to much time stealing wifi from the store when we went on the ninth year trip to Paris.Entering the store the usual birch coloured benches displaying the metal computers gave a welcoming sight to the regular scene I was used to, reminding me of home. 

I wasn’t so sure who to ask about my mum, ask I went up slowly to ask one of the managers. This activity would be the usual to me soon enough as my awkwardness quickly was wearing off. The very tanned (slightly jealous of this) man had told me that he had seen someone but it was around three days ago. It was a long time off for her to stay in one city, I did not hold my hopes up. As I re-examined my situation I browsed through the dozen of computers. 

“You looking for one to?”  A high pitched voice had asked as my head turned around. 

‘Nah, just browsing, wasting time.” I had responded 

She had dark curly hair, her bangs straightened as the rest of her dark chocolate shaded hair curled. The aluminum spotlights showed off the natural shine her hair held as her yellow eyeshadow framed  her hazel eyes. She was rather short, wearing flats and having a cherry coloured short dress on, wearing a beautiful pendant around her neck. 

“You around here?” Her thick accent shown through, as she was clearly from around the city.

“Hehe, can you tell that easily, yeah Im from around bristol.” I smiled as I had told her, I always had hated my accent. 

As soon as I told her my phone began going off, as I quickly reached in my metallically clad purse to grab it. I flipped it open putting the speaker next to my earring dazzled lobes.

“Hello Lovely!” As I immediately recognized the tone, it was Calvin’s. 

“Hi hi, how is your bloody leg, both literally and swearing word ways.” 

“Better, when we went this morning the doctor said that if I barely moved I could be in walking shape in like a week!” I was very excited to hear that, seeing as  that was one less week till I could see him and share more experiences with him, and my friends in general. I walked out of the store as I walked past stores displays, heading to the beach, laughing and sharing what had happened today. It was like the old times, which was a good and bad thing, I didn’t know if I wanted to continue being the best friend like the past or more. I knew inside I truly wanted to be more, but going this way would never end up well. 

–

I had gone out to a quant little cafe, complete with sweets as I ordered a serving of cheese cake and sat down on the lush deep red chair slowly eating the white cake. The blue walls were relaxing as the local art was hung up on various spots of the wall detailing the artist and there location as I could here deep conversations of the local citizens around me. I missed my friends, I hated eating alone. It reminded me of days upon weeks of eating alone in the Cafeteria, feeling like a utter nobody. I was paranoid that people would look at me and immediately judge me, thinking, oh look at that english girl isn’t she lonely. I wish I could have someone to discuss what I was supposed to do next, I was currently lost.  I stared down at the checkered black and white floor as I saw a loose paper resembling a flyer on bright orange paper, my cold hands picked it up as my cheese cake waited to be finished. 

My deep blew eyes scanned the paper, reading its typical Arial text. The flyer was for a local band, meeting at a local hotspot around town I was guessing. I was roughly considering going. I needed something to take my mind off of everything I had to worry about in my life, a night of distraction was not horribly bad of a thing, seeing as I did not have much of a lead on where to go next and my stress levels were about to combust. I quickly finished up the cake soon enough seeing the bare white porcelain dish left behind on the glass top table as I left the chilly cafe heading out onto the streets. 

I decided to spend the rest of the day looking for my mum, I felt bad not caring enough.  Maybe she didn’t WANT to be found, I just thought about this. What if I did find her, would she be terribly upset that I had found her, that she had to deal with me. Maybe she had left to get away from me, from her husband and to start a new slate. Looking could be the exact thing she did not want me to do. None the less I prevailed, being stereotypically a teen, I wanted answers for myself, not for her satisfaction. Spending the rest of the day searching the hot streets and palm tree filled ways of Lisbon looking for a runaway love.

The familiar sunset was upon me as I soon asked for directions to the local hotspot the band was playing at. I entered what appeared to be a very chic bar mixed in with a stage for performers. The place was packed as red, blue and yellow lights adorned the stage, crowd awaiting the bands appearance. I headed over to one of the seats of the bar, its brushed aluminum chassis yielded reflections of the stage as I sat upon the wooden stool, ordering a drink. I never drinked, but I was incredibly thirsty so I ordered one, seeing as if I ordered water it would stand out among the people in the dark room. 

The room had a very classic feel mixed in with modern. Its square hanging pendent lamps traded times with the old faded pictures crowded on the right wall along with the classic stools next to a chic art deco couch. The walls were painted black as one wall just had complete glass on one side, reflecting the hundreds of young people standing around in their dresses and polos. The floors were incredibly scratched, telling stories of the past.

My eyes just wondered around the room as I continued sipping my drink out of the clear glass, scouting for whatever I could. I felt incredibly out of place here. I was one of those people that on saturdays would just sit wishing she could be at a place such as this, not actually being there. The one that would come to school Monday morning and hear about the party that was on friday that I did not go to because I was afraid that I could not study and finish my homework. Now that I think about it, were all those missed parties in turn for work as important as I placed them to be. I was working for the future, sure, but was I replacing potential memories with future wishing, and were they ultimately important enough for those missed times. Maybe that was what this trip was for, finding it out, maybe  a A star was not as incredibly important as the times I could have. Maybe I should thank my mum, even though she did not do it for me, she let me explore the great perhaps, and it was turning out quit well if I do say so myself. 

A few minutes later the stage lights got brighter as the crowd got continually louder and louder. I passed my drink to the bartender as I hopped off the aged wooden stool and toward the crowd. I patted my black knee length dress, flattening it as I entered energetic crowd. I plan on letting my guard entirely off tonight, whatever this might entail. 

The band appeared soon enough, there were three members, one girl and two guys, all dressed entirely different compared to each other. The female had pitch black hair, skinny dark navy jeans, striped shirt and gaudy jacket, which sparkled in the lights, her dark green eyes sparkled. One of the guys had toffee coloured medium length hair as his bangs nearly covered one of his eyes, cheeks flushed red. His bright white shoes contrasted against the dark hoodie as his gingham belt had a glare on the stage. The last member had short blonde hair, his baby blue eyes were like the sky in the morning, his striped zip-up had dozens of colours on it, reflecting the colours of the DJ stand he was by. The girl, a singer, the blonde a DJ it seemed and the toffee guy a keyboardist. 

As they soon started playing, it was clear this was a electronic band, which did not bother me at the least bit. I had dozens of electronic bands on my Ipod, I was moderately happy that they were electronic. The stark beats soon started, making everyone soon start to move, the beats got louder, and heavier, if not catchier by the minute as the girls voice was striking. Her thought to be harsh voice was all but, it was very mellow and calm, contending with the harshness of the music behind her. Soon enough I was dancing, which I barely even noticed. It seemed out of place not to as the fluorescent bulbs soon enough were flashing, I had no clue what I had gotten myself into but I was far from complaining. 

Minutes past, the crowd and I all but relinquished in energy. Soon enough, as I had not even noticed, a striking boy was staring at me. As quickly as I had noticed this he had looked at me, trading words without speaking. His dirty blonde hair moved across, forward, up, down as he was quietly dancing, whilst moving toward my direction. I soon enough flipped out my mobile, trying to catch its reflection to see if I looked decent, fixing my plain brown straightened hair. I was not normally anxious towards guys, as they all might be different looking but still the same idiots, little exceptions, this was one of them. His freckled faced glowed in the crowd as his wavy hair rustled in the slight breeze of the movement of the crowd. His dark black leather jacket was flashy as his grey tight fitting jeans struggled to moved and push against the grain of the crowd as I quickly tried to think of something to say. 

“Hey,” his scratchy voiced called out beside me as he looked into my blue eyes, he was clearly from either Scotland or Ireland, I was bad at those types of things. Side note for me, he had long eyelashes, I was a tad jealous.

“Hey!” I had replied, as I thought about how bad of a reply that was, what do you say after that.  I wished for the crowd to stop bumping into the two of us as the deep trance continued to play in the background, but i barely even heard as I was not focused on the music in the least bit.

“You from around London?” 

“Nah, Gloucester. You?”

“Dublin.”

“Im really bad at being able to interpret accents!” We were screaming over the crowd, trying to ignore the loud noises. 

“I couldn’t tell, seeing as you never guessed. I guess I have more guts than you!” He smiled, his pearly coloured teeth shined despite the current stage of near darkness in the room, his dimples showing as he laughed a few. 

“Shut up!” I yelled back, smiling. 

“Shut up? That is the least of my worries, if you want peace and quiet you are at the entirely WRONG place!”

As we continued to scream talk we soon lead to dancing. The deep beats were entrancing as the flashing lights flew across the room, skin to skin, body to body. This was not Lexi anymore, this was an entirely different person. I was not afraid though, whoever she was I was currently okay with it. Who cared who saw, no one knew me and I was in the moment, my mind didn’t care, maybe the trance caused this. Faster the beats  started to play, as we soon began dancing even more, his hands grasped onto my dress, as his eyes stared into mine. The crowd jumping up and down, the band was over with but they soon just stood with the DJ as Paul Oakenfold was playing.

“Hey!” I yelled as he soon whipped around listening. “Wanna go on a walk?” I had asked, as I soon flipped  open my mobile to see what time it was. The screen read three missed calls, all from Calvin, as I quickly ignored them, reading the time and putting the phone back into my pocket.

“Yeah, sure, I am fine with that.” As he quickly held my warm hand, leading me to the exit. 

“I don’t want you to get lost!” He responded as he smiled. 

Soon enough I was back out onto the familiar bricked street, as the moon was quickly on the west. The winding street curved as the metal hanging lamps near the businesses brightened the path both ways. The cream coloured decorated windows above the streets glowed as every living thing in them appeared to be asleep, a quite calm was dramatically different then I had been used to recently. I had entered single handed, and now I had a hand TO hold. I was not sure what I was doing, seeing as all this was quite not me, I would go with the flow. I never went with the flow, it was just something I was never comfortable with. Going with the flow you never know what could happen. Planned events were more my thing, but letting loose allowed me to have fun tonight, so I will continue doing what I have been doing for the night, nothing horribly wrong has happened yet.

–

“Why are you here?” I asked as we were walking down the street, I guessed we were going to the ocean front. 

“Long story.” He laughed as he looked onward. I could tell he was relaxed, which made me feel like I could ask him these questions.

“I think we can both say we have time, obviously, or you would not be spending your time with me.” I asked, as I presented a loaded question, which I did with almost everyone I talked to when I first meet someone, asking a question to see their response but secretly meaning something else. In this cased I wanted to see if he would mention me and how I was not a waste of time. I am basically evil.

“True, what can I say your blue eyes matched mine, it would be a nice matching eye couple of course.”

“True, our eyes DO look incredibly matchy together, I sure hope it is not so matchy it turns tacky. Then we just could not be seen together.” I said sarcastically.

“Well fine, here begins my story, I am a bad story teller though, you have been warned.” He said.

“I shall be the judge of that.” I felt like a little kid, listening to stories, but I was more so excited. I prepared myself to whatever I was about to here, maybe his life could be more screwy than mine.

“Well a few months ago I was in college yes? So yeah it was basically a dream come true I guess, I had amazing friends, parents were as cool as they needed to be, and I was going to a amazing college, learning what I was so interested in, which was music, music theory, etc etc.”

“You sing? play? what!” He was into music, how damned my life was at this moment. Nothing beats a guy that plays music, I was officially wooed, as much as I tried to resist. Damn the one alcoholic drink I had consumed because that was what I will blame it on.

“Yeh well I play violin, since I was really little. My mum never made me but I just really though people that played it looked cool so I tried it out and have been in love with it ever since.” His irish accent said. 

“Gr, hold on.” I replied as my hands quickly jumped to get the loud ringing nine2five ringtone, as I glanced at the LCD screen, Calvin was calling. I did not give it a second thought as I turned down the call, putting the phone back into my pocket. I could hear the rustling waves in the distance, swish, back and fro, calming my nerves. 

“nine2five?” He questioned, joking around.

“Shut up I like The Ordinary Boys!” I yelled, as i faked slapped him. He quickly gave out a fake ow noise as the two of us smiled. 

“Anyway back to where I started before someone quickly interrupted. So yes, I was in college, this is my last year. I had the most amazing friends I could wish for, they were always there for me, though I really did not have much of anything they needed to comfort me with. I loved my life, college was Monday thru Thursday, study on Fridays usually then party with my friends on Saturday. One day I went home to my little flat to visit my parents, I was not living with them since the commute if I lived with them would be incredibly long, I only had so many songs to listen to ya know.”

“Of course!” As we both gave a welcoming smile.

“So I got home and my parents were both sitting at the dining room table and staring at me. I knew something was up, they always did that when something negative had happened. They were like Luke sit down we need to have a talk, so of course I sit. I soon learned that my mum had lost her job, and so they could not afford to keep letting me go to that college. I had to find another. I found one here that was just as notable, but was not nearly as much. I still had to leave all my friends, favorite pubs, everything. I am not angry at my parents, just upset, I really haven’t seen any of my friends in ages it seems.”

“I am sorry to hear that.”  My life was not nearly as screwed up as everyone else’s, I needed to get that into my head. Everyone has the same messed up issues as everyone else I learned, as I looked into his freckled rosy face.

“Hey it is fine, we are in one of the best places in the world, not the time to be all gloom and doom right. Anyways someone still has a story to tell.”

“Ugh fine, strap on the boring. So basically I was coming home from school one day and my mum is not there, i go to ask my dad where she left. He does not know, or he isn’t telling me. I was a tiny upset, I stole his debit card, and now me and my friends are on a mission to find her. Epic, I know.”

“Surprise!” Screamed the group of them.

The deck glowed as multicoloured light bulbs were strung across the sky, making illuminated patterns into the granite stone below as white paper lanterns were stung up high in the maple and ash trees fixed above our heads resembling clouds in a great sky of green. A great fire was set in the pit situated in the middle of the deck as my eyes transfixed upon the table settled with delightful sweets, cakes and alcohol. It was amazing, the amount of work they had put into a wonderful evening surprise, it was rewarding to my self esteem knowing only friends would do such a thing. I then took a quick look at them as they looked absolutely brill. Baileys hair swayed in the wind as her diamante studded plum and purple day dress caught the shimmers of the lights above her as she was centimeters taller then james thanks to her black metallic sandals. James had a heavy grey denim buttoned jacket with a striped black white and grey scarf, skinny fitted jeans mixed with a plaid bumblebee yellow and black belt. Calvin, well since he was apparently home from getting stitches, he looked like shit, I forgive him since he had glass through his leg. All their eyes glimmered in the rainbow lights, it was a sight to behold.

“Well we talked it out, as in the two of us, Calvin was at the hospital. We decided we want you to go, so we are throwing you a good luck party. Note the random shamrocks around the vicinity.” She pointed to various spots of the deck as if a show girl.

“They were NOT old St. Patty day decorations at all, just incase you wondered.” James noted.

“Mm sure.” I laughed, thus began a wonderful night. We had such great conversations about the craziest of things, laughing and loving. It seemed to go to fast, the moon quickly setting down back to the earth before I knew it, as I headed to bed for the last time in the grand brick house. I woke up incredibly early the next morning, and by early I mean around ten-thirty am. I woke up to see all my belongings packed up sat upon the birch desk next to the vanity as it held onto its bright red bow tied onto it. I walked over as I saw that there was a lined paper note attached to it.

“Hey Lex, We missed you this morning, Calvin had some kind of appointment at the hospital neither three of us knew about, it was a surprise, we really did not want to leave you hanging. We are really sorry, hope you can forgive us. Email us or something wherever you go. I put £700 in your bag, think of it as a gift from me, (Bailey). Don’t fall in love to easily with the french guys, you know how there smoking is attractive, don’t fall for it!

Love Bailey, James, Calvin. (See you soon, with a mum!)

I picked up the bag as it rest upon my shoulder, grasping the letter to my heart, I did not want to leave here. It was the one place I felt safe in, where I felt comfortable being me and loved, but my word is my word, and I keep on it as I flipped open my cell phone to see what undisclosed location I would be in soon enough. My eyes widened, heart raced, mind stressed, I was heading to Lisbon. Why had my mum picked the farthest place for me to go to, I was already nervous about the trip I was soon to make. I walked through the foyer, saying goodbye to the crystal chandelier that I had been entertained by several times as I exited the heavy wooden doors for the last time, in well, who knew yet. The grand fountains bubbling noises of its own waters relaxed me for the time being, I sat upon the edge of the rock scultpure, thinking about what the future hold for me as I diled the numbers for a taxi. I was very impreprared for the adventure I was getting myself. All I could hope is that it would not get much worse.

I was heartbroken leaving Calvin as well. He was my nail that held my crazy into place, which seemed to not be true, but I could get much worse. Gingers bring out the bad in you, its another one of my theories on life. I was going to miss him, terribly, I was trying to hold my tears in. I wanted that boy that stood up for me during the gym to be there in that plane with me, letting me sleep on his comforting shoulder while the cold plane flew across the seas and hills. To enjoy the warming coffee inside a inviting cafe as we could look out the small bay windows watching the unique cars and people mix on the streets. I knew I could do this myself physically but emotionally he was the one that didn’t let me get to out of control, that was a part I was rather afraid of.

The wait couldn’t have been more stretched out and prolonged, having a heaving burden on my stressed mind. It seemed like hours upon hours of my eyes staring around the blue watery bubbles uprising from the fountain and looking at the heavily decorated wrought iron gate as few cars passed along. I ignored incoming texts to my phone as I could not be bothered to reply to them. It began to get windier as gusts became frequent, my grey summer dress floated along the waves of wind as my black ribbon balanced on the air. Long enough, a black glossy painted minivan rolled up the bricked driveway as its taxi signs logo was brightly lit despite it being currently daylight as I grabbed the suitcase, the ribbon still intake. I grabbed the handle as the door smoothly opened as I sat on the strangely patterned seat, sinking right into the head cushion, watching the precious house roll on past the hills in the faded distance. A quick nap was vital to my health as i drifted off into the darkness, the same scenery was a sweet lullaby.

—-

I never had liked airplanes, just the thought of being kilometers above the sky tended to freak me out as the landing and lifting off scared me also. I just tried to shut off the rest of the world so I could ignore the present phobias in my mind, humming Dizzee Rascal songs to myself as to distract me. Luckily this time I had a window seat so I could enjoy it better, and the person I was sat next to just minded his own business though I might have judged him as I saw he was listening to Girls Aloud and he was at least thirty-five.

I had such a great pet peeve with people who tried to bother you with small talk. I wasn’t completely introverted, I just hated the awkwardness and the pointlessness of it. I would never meet that person ever again most likely so no Mrs. old-woman who-wants-to-know-how-many-puppies-I-have, I would not like to talk about how many cats you own at your chateau in France. When I entered a elevator I could only wish that the people next to me would just mind their own business and not intrude on my life. I had more respect for the people that just listened to their ipod while reading Elle magazine instead. If I wanted to meet you I will ask.

The scenery out the window was such a spectacular site as the Cumulus clouds below me played games of peek-a-boo with the earth below. I sat my arms against the window as my hands held my head to keep it from falling as I tried to make objects out of the clouds. I saw all kinds, a dragon with its tongue out, pumpkin pie, a toy box. Then as I was quickly becoming bored of this regularly played game I saw a doghouse. It instantly flicked on the memory switch in my brain as sparks flew like fireworks. The doghouse had reminded me of Calvin getting a Labrador Retriever around when he and I were ten.

I had gone to school, regular day, sitting in the freezing cold sterilized room of Ms. Swiechers home room as I was shivering trying to keep from looking at the inspirational posters strongly taped to the wall around me as I knew reading them would make me doze off. I had always gone to school a little early as my dad had to go to work earlier and would drop me off. Usually Calvin would always be in the room to entertain me but that day he was unusually late, my mind dreaded the rest of the day thinking he would be sick. I had hated the days he was sick because I had to sit in the gloriously cliched lunch room by myself sitting alone at the obvious faked wood table eating dry cereal from my dirt coloured bag quietly looking at the paled white clock on the far left corner next to the trash cans and the windows that showed nothing but trees and leaves.

When he had come through the dark grey metaled doorway his facial expression was indescribable, dressed up in whatever he threw on. I was automatically threw off by his appearance seeing he slopped on clothes, strange for him. I knew it was his birthday, but even this would not stop the ginger ten year old from slopping on a Pokemon T-shirt and some plain jeans.

“Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!” He was repeating as he stood over my desk, his freckles seemed more numerous that day.

“What!” I had screamed. partly because I was a brat of a ten year old, and because I truly wanted to know what had made him so excited this morning with the clothes and eyes as big as flying saucers.

As soon as I had said this Ms. Swiecher demanded attention, yelling for the numerous numbers of ten and eleven year olds to get back to their arctic chilled seats awaiting them. He was trying to lip what he was originally going to tell me but that was one skill some people acquired and I have not yet to be able to have. I could not tell one thing he had said so I dug through my cluttered pink backpack to find a notebook, signaling for him to write a note, we were cool kids. As she conducted the usual morning activities I kept looking over to the right of the room as Calvin could only find one empty seat, it was 3 desks across from mine. I always sat next to the window so if I wanted to dream about what I wanted to be when I grew up I could look out onto the brick fence around thirty meters away as full grown cherry trees were spontaneously planted around the area. I got a kick out of the rare sighting of sparrows flying around the trees, it provided much more entertainment from maths.

“Pssst, Lex.” A student had said as I saw him signaling the piece of paper in his hand as my small hand quickly grabbed the wide ruled white paper, unwinding the numerous folds as it increased in size. I had not figured out why had it took so long to get him to write something as simple as what I had just saw. In boldly decorated letters of a typical left handed fellows handwriting, it read out, I GOT A PUPPY!. And boy, did he ever. This was our topic of choice for the rest of the day, as he fully described his buttered colour labrador puppy and its personality and I continued to listen. As I walked up to my mums Saab in the bleak parking lot a few moments away from the schools glass doors I recited the lines Calvin and I had practiced that day.

“How was your day hun,” my then thirty-five year old mum asked with her hand on the steering wheel drinking another coffee.

“Mum, mum, mum, can I have a puppy! Like Calvin got a puppy and it is so cool and i really really want one and I would take care of it and everything and they are so cute and like he likes his so much I want a cute one please!” My past self had rambled, though she said no it was eventually a good thing as Calvin and my relationship grew as stronger because I frequently visited his house so we could play with the puppy. He loved his dog, still to this day like no other. The dog was his best bud.

Wow, sometimes I forgot how lost in my memories I could become, as I quickly got back to basics as I chose another Mark Ronson song from my ipod, I completely ignored my playlist, as my mind changed to frequently for playlists. I had originally left for the plane around two and the sun was slowly setting in the west as the clouds quickly turned shades of violet, auburn and mustard, reflecting upon the blue sea below. The water went on endlessly, as the horizon formed a straight line horizontally into the blanks of the dirtied window. I grabbed out of my phone as I decided to take a few low quality quick snaps of the view, for memories sake. I rested my brown hair upon the aged chair and wished for best as I looked out onto the rainbow sky. I wish the best for Calvin, for Bailey, for Mum, for James, and for Calvin’s dog, Sam.

The intercom woke me up as the flight attendants warned of the decline they were about to make as I braced myself, soon I would be in Portugal, the least expected place I would though of finding myself just a few days ago if not a few months. Soon enough the torturous waiting was over as I unbuckled the linen belt and grabbed my belongings, heading to the exit followed behind other strangers and their life’s. As I entered the terminal the warm setting sun shown through the glass as I watched the passerby’s on the ground level below me. I quickly rechecked my mobile as I was set on finding a place to stay for the night.

As I was going down Avenue Alm. Gago Coutinho toward my hotel I had found, I looked out onto the ever darkening streets as their red tiled roofs matched the sun on the far off distance. The trees along the Avenue waved at me as their leaves rustled when the quant compact cars passed them. The sky was completely cleared from all clouds as soon all you could see was a darkening blackness surround the Portuguese city. The robins egg blue and lemon yellow vibrantly shined on the facades of the buildings as hints of Parisian architecture shown through. Pubs lit through the georgian windows as neon branded advertisements caught your eye on the corner of the streets as some ever passing monuments would appear. The people dressed vibrantly as heels clacked upon the ground as couples were dressed on a night out on the town. which oddly puzzled me since it was a Tuesday. 

Soon enough I could see the granite and glass facade of Hotel Mundial as the landscape lights lit up the building in a ritz way. The windows were exactly square as the building was around ten stories tall and had a dark grey and light beige tone to it. The sign was below the all glass half circle glass paved entrance way as the square windows stood a polar opposite to the modern semi-circular glass way. I stared out the shaded window as I did not notice the Taxi had been stopped for quite a while as I pated the fee and walked opened the yellowed door, grabbing my belongings.The grand hotel had a large and vacuous courtyard in the front of it as baby trees and thousand of tiles lined the floor as bubbling modern fountains were closing in on the main entryway as I closed in passing the flags shining in the front. 

I booked a room for the night as I got into the room I payed the hundred few euros as I was glad I had more Euros seeing the exchange rate from the pound to euro gained me a few hundred more to spend. As I walked into the room I opened the shades to the square window I had previously seen as the lights of the city sparkled in the distance. They were like christmas lights, greens, yellows, oranges, running through the city creating a magnificent display for myself to see. I wondered what Calvin or James would think of this, as my mind suddenly connected how much I missed them. I thought about calling them but that would only make me miss them more so I put down the phone. I checked the time, seeing it was only around seven p.m..

I walked out of the white doorway onto a hallway stretching to the great beyond. It seemed to never end as I saw rows upon rows of white doors, all closed while on the walls there were great works of art being illuminated by the spotlights near the gold leafed molding.

“There you are!” James shouted from the far back of the hallway. He walked my way, I was not exactly sure how to respond to that. I could say, yes, here I am, but I had no clue where I was, I could say yes, I have been looking for you, but I had been not because I was incredibly puzzled and flustered about last night in general.

“I just woke up? I dont really know where I am, and also what happened last night!” I asked, clueless.

“Well, I guess you were that drunk to, glad to see you had some fun!”

“No, like I remember someone bleeding a lot on a carpet, and yeah, do you not remember?” “Wait what, is this important, had I missed something? To be honest I dont remember last night at all” He chuckled as he rubbed his head.

“Oh, well not surprising,” I gave him a questionable stare as my tone was sarcastic.

“Bailey was looking for you.” He was unmoved by the statement I had just said, probably because he in fact knew it was true or he would have remembered last nights insane times.

“Yeah this house is monstrous, take me to her please?” I gave a huge smile, it was convincing enough.

I followed him through doorways upon doorways upon doorways as he explained to me about Bailey into detail. I had no previous idea or assumption that this could be her house, though I learned it was quite hers. He explained to me that her parents are major real estate tycoons in England, but that is one of the reasons her parents are never home, which she made up for the loneliness by throwing extravagant parties at her place. I was extremely envious, she had the body, the face, the life in my opinion. Of course I have not learned of her cracks. Everyone has cracks that you learn or do not learn from the person. No ones life is amazing, it just looks amazing, or at least this was my theory.

I walked into the familiar room where I had seen the violent colour blood last night. The bright wood panels were lit from the sun shining through the windows, revealing details I had not seen before as prisms of light glared on the wall from the chandelier. The group of four, being comprised of Calvin, James, Bailey, and myself were all together in the grand room. It felt like I was important, I belonged to a group of people as friends, the feeling was incredibly new to me. I intended on keeping that feeling for as long as i could hold on to its slippery hold. That planned failed miserably as my pupils drew attention to the white bandage around Calvin’s lower thigh, the white gauze wrapped around several times. He was sitting on the same couch I had sat on previously last night watching him make a fool of himself, he just smiled, stupid, making me think about how cute he was.

“”Yes, I knew I wasn’t incredibly “drunk”, I knew I remembered seeing blood then morbidly fainting. See, I am not crazy.”" I glared at James, though giving a tease filled look at him suppressing how incredibly upset I was at him and everyone else that had let this happen go unnoticed. I reminded myself to count to ten, and not let my guard off, calm and collected I whispered to myself.

“Let me explain,” Bailey volunteered as I was about to open my mouth to speak another cold sentence I would later regret.

“Wait, why not Calvin, he is perfectly capable!”

“No, no, he does not even remember, also he is very bad at storytelling, he tried to tell me stories about the two of you last night and well, they sucked.”

“Wait, I did?” Calvin jumped up to question the truth of her statement as he smirked.

“Shhh, you just sit there and listen, you dickhead.” She insisted.

To be frank I was jumping up and down emotionally. He had been talking about me to other people! I wasn’t used to thinking people do these things for other people, compliments or something like that. They dont exist anymore I was pretty sure. What sucks is that Calvin had been getting better and better at getting me to notice him and his genuine personality, I didnt want this to partake in any greater feelings, I wanted it to stay here, floored on the ground. I walked around to the right of the room sitting in a huge black leather chair, sinking into the deep cushions as the armrests engulfed me, ready to listen and completely and utterly unprepared about what I could hear.

“Basically here is a outline of what happened in a basic timeline format.” She began to use her hands to tell her story, motioning from imaginary points to other non existent imaginary points.

“So I wasnt drunk because I dont get drunk on the basis of this is my house and I would not like having it burnt down or have the cops come over, which would put a damper on the party I threw.” She failed to mention how burning the house down would lose millions of dollars of assets and memories in the meantime.

“I was walking to the living room to see what Calvin was doing and Jacob and Alan and more people you dont know, I don’t know why I mentioned them in the first place, so just erase that from your mind. I never said that. So anyway I was going in and I saw Calvin horribly drunk and he was in a fight, if thats what you will call it, with the few of them. It was over well, that doesnt matter, and then one of them got a vodka bottle and smashed it into his leg. So that was a blast if I do say so myself.I ran the guy out with a knife from the kitchen, I do not think he will be back anytime soon. And basically thats the story of bloodloss to Calvin’s upper thigh whilst being drunk on a Sunday night. You may now clap if you would like.” I watched as Calvin clapped frantically, I joined in a tad, fake laughing. Not only was I left with more confusion then I had in the first place, but also disappointment that Calvin would get into a fight. It was so unlike him, but people drunk in general were never like themselves.

“Thank you, thank you, I will be back anytime soon!” She said, bowing as her plaid brown and white knee high socks stretched forwards as she bent down to take a long and awkward bow in the large airy room.

“Is it serious, or what, the injury that is!” “Oh, well he cant really walk that well, I mean we need to take him to a hospital, he needs stiches. I will pay for them, my parents wouldn’t even notice. I think atleast two weeks, the cuts were gruesome, and deeply situated, but hey, I am not master surgeon.”

“Can I go to my room, I need to think and I am kind of lightheaded.” I asked, after I spurted out a quick lie to not end a question with I need to think as it could have so many infinite meanings and conclusions drawn by this. But in more seriousness I faced a dilemma. Really?, I said to myself as James walked me back to my neutral coloured room. Could something else brutally damaging to this adventure happen, how about adding more questions and stress to my situation!

As I turned the freezing iron knob connected to the white door a 180 degree angle I thought about what I was going to do now. I slowly walked to the bed, its white bedspread gave the entire room a uplifting feel, lightening the spirits of the room. I sat, staring out the windows onto the great lawn and trees, watching the robins fly hastily around.

“You look puzzled.” James broke the silence with this question, he must have been good with reading emotions off peoples faces. I wasn’t easy to read, I put up quite a front, I was gladly surprised he had noticed.

“Tell me about it.” I said pessimistically as my voice drifted to the far corners of the room, bouncing back and producing noise that was my incredibly scratchy voice.

“Do tell.” He responded hastily, I knew he was already interested in what I was about to say. I had a strange notion that I could trust the fellow, he seemed genuine. Must have been gay, damn life. Yes I have a theory about nice guys. I mean lets be frank here, how many guys are attractive, nice, trustworthy, make you laugh,nice tastes in things, the gay ones. It never worked out for me, life must have been out to get me, its my curse, I wasn’t going to ask him, just in the back of my mind.

“Fine, better settle down then, here, sit here.” I pointed to the “library green” coloured chair in the corner next to the white and glass wardrobe and bronzed standing lamp with a striped shade.

I loved spilling my soul out to people, it was rare nowadays to find someone that was willing to listen without preconceived notions of sorts. I never told things that I was afraid could be judged against me to Calvin, I didnt want him to think less of me, so I kept things from him. It felt so incredible to let things out, to just have a gust of cold pure air wisp away the worries I have held for so long. I only could hope James wouldn’t do the thing I was afraid of after I had talked to him.

“Wow, okay first off you have to promise not to judge me or anything, I swear! I know how cool you are so I don’t want you pulling some shade over my eyes kid!” as I gave nonchalant and mildly sarcastic tone, his brunette hair sparked as he laughed a few.

“Yes, I am cool, and also a kid. These are both lies, we have started off great if I do say so myself”

“Shut it!” I said as the rays of sunlight began to be lost through the glass panes as the brightly lit yellow sun passed up to the teal sky. He pulled up his tanned arms and signaled zipping up his lips as I gave a tiny smile.

“So I am worried about a lot of things. It’s just, for one I have no clue what I am doing with my life, and I constantly freak out about this. I mean what about universities, what about my life for god’s sake. Of course I am mad, what was my mum thinking when she left, how about my life, its not all about her! I don’t know why I even care any more about her, it is my life, I shouldn’t be spending my dads money on looking for a parent that sucks. Then the whole Calvin thing, I fucking kissed him last night, and I don’t regret it.” He continued to quietly listen as I rambled even more useless things about my life. We all have issues, my issues are the same as everyones else. I need to stop feeling so important and be more of a realist.

“Yeah then today, I don’t even know what to do now. I mean I have to make a important decision, I CANT MAKE DECISIONS. I can’t justify my actions anymore. I am just broken inside, I think I crossed my line of comfort long ago. I can stay here with Calvin and you guys and give up the search for my parent that gave birth to me, or look for her and leave you guys. I really don’t know what is important anymore, thats the fucked up part. Hm, is that enough rambling?” I then fell back falling onto the comforting mattress, my bland hair was a mess as it slowly bounced up and down after I fell.

“First off, I love listening so stop feeling like its a negative thing to share your issues with me because i don’t mind so just stop that silly. I think you should leave, find your mum.”

“Wait what!” Shocked as I jumped up to look at him as my eyes were brightly lit with surprise.

“Well think about it, your mum could be anywhere, and you have known her all your life. Sure she was a bit of a twat to go leave you, but ever think something could have happened and she has a answer for it. I mean no one just leaves there daughter for the heck of it right. We will always be here waiting for you to, we wont disappear, we are your friends Lexi.” His deep hazel eyes stared into mine, grasping my last breath I had. He meant what he had just said, I was touched, as hydrogen oxygen began running down my pores. His hands quickly reached around mine as soon enough all I could see was the back of his shoulder as his sea foam and white polo stretched.

“It will be fine, don’t worry.” His soft down to earth voice relaxed my nerves. I quickly swept off to dreams soon afterwords.

I remember a few years back Calvin had out some vodka in all my twist off coke bottles, not enough for me to taste a noticeable difference. He knew that I would not get purposely wasted for any amount of money, well beside grand amounts in which he could not afford. I was incredibly drunk before I knew it, and that hangover made me want to shoot his incredibly ginger face off. I made sure not to drink Cola products tonight, water would manage.

I could get lost in it all, what made the human race want to lose there consciousness and have a sense of uncontrollability, one of the many questions I had staring into the crowd of dry humping fiends. I made sure that I would not allow Calvin to make a fool of himself, for my sakes at the least. I watched the crowds, as the multicolored lights flicked on and off, red, blues, yellows. Incredibly base and techno jazz combination beats played loudly, shaking the whole floor. My eyes were sleepy, but the sight of it all kept me somewhat entertain.

I saw Calvin walking over, or well more or less staggaring over towards my general direction till he met me face to face.

“What do you have something you want to say Calvin?” I questioned after he stood there for a good five minutes, I thought I should ask at the least most. His deep ivy eyes stared, I was in love, fuck it, I was in love. He stood, looking at me, I couldn’t resist. I quickly grabbed him, our lips touched. It must have been the biggest five seconds of my life, but also one of the best. He was also a incredibly great kisser despite his drunkenness. I pushed him far away, I couldn’t let this escalate. I was now hoping that he would have been wasted enough to forget that this moment never had happened. Though I was not sure if I wanted him to remember it or not. I was just not sure what to think anymore.

I quickly ran, out of the great entrance way ladened with a elegant crystal chandelier, out of the great archway housing expensive plants and hybrid flowers. I just feel, the soft green patcehs of grass cushioned my fall, as I stood there in shock. The stars shown brightly as I looked out upon the grey moon. Faint clouds, almost see through passed through the moon, giving off a slightly scary vibe. But none of this bothered me, not one bit, for I knew that all I would think about for the next few days was that kiss. Maybe it was the great perhaps, the what could have happened but never did, but I knew not to take a chance as big as this. For if I lost my best friend I am not sure what state of well being I would be in. I also was disturbed that I had forgotten all about my mum in the process of these few days. I was worried that I was losing sight if what was actually important. My navy calf leggings began to get moist mixing with the soft dew on the ground.

“Now what are you doing miss sad face!” Bailey screamed across the lawn, skipping past the brick pathway into my direction. Her turquoise Jersey Grecian Bandeau going out dress bounced happily along with her as her perfect blonde hair bounced in all directions.

“Oh, just thinking ya know.” Which was not entirely untrue, but I was thinking about ways to not go back in as I stared onto the marvelous brownstone mansion, its black shutters provided a stark contrast against the twelve pane georgian windows.

“Come on you’re are gonna have some fun!” She tugged at my wrists, trying to pick me off the emerald grass. I gave in, for a couple reasons, (A) I would feel bad if I sat in the grass ignoring Bailey, and (B), she was going to force me one way or another. She could stop two perverts from attacking me, she can make me go into a party easily.

“Fine, I will go, but I will not get plastered mkay.” I said in a serious tone, though she probably wouldn’t take it completely seriously since she was miserably drunk as well.

“Oh Lexi, you’sa funny bunny!” She screamed loudly beside the ornate vanilla shaded fountain near the greatly decorated pair of oak doors. She swung quickly to the left, nearly tripping on her pumps as she stopped to take them off, handing the yellow pair to me, I sat them by the steps.

Walking in, I was already dreading the decision I had made. The foyer already was trashed as I saw a must of been antique blue and white vase broken on the floor beside the dark brown sideboard full of pots and pictures. As I turned the corner I settled in for a long night of loud music and people making fools of themselves. I never fully understood what was the fun of getting incredibly drunk and losing yourself. You didn’t look attractive at any way at all getting incredibly sick and throwing up in trash cans, not to mention the horrible breath that smells like death itself. Then you stagger everywhere, saying messages that you would never say to someone’s face when being yourself. Of course if you did get in a rather childish fight you would most likely not remember. I wonder how many people got pregnant and don’t remember because they were wasted. I had various deep questions like this sitting on the pinstriped green and white couch that night. Maybe I had these thoughts from seeing several disturbing images that will no doubt not leave my memory any time soon. I do not care for dry humping sessions with your possible candidate for a second cousin.

I slowly saw more and more teenagers slowly fall to a deep sleep on any form of close comforting area they could find, which was like watching fly’s drop dead, which was disturbing that I just had that connection. It was like copying a episode of Skins and inserting it into this house. I walked around the house, the least I could do is explore.

The kitchen was stunning, I did not feel worthy to be in such a room as I walked around the greatly fashioned interior. The vaulted ceilings seemed to bounce the ever growing headache of the dance music in the foreground as the write ceramic backsplash brightened up the dark grey walls. The old dark oak floors had few scratches but still shown signs of life as few exotic carpets ran around the white breakfast table,a deep earthy brown toned shaped lamp escaped from the ceiling illuminating the brightness of the clean white. On the right hand side were various cupboards with glass exteriors to look into the interior with as spotlights gave off a warming glow. I wished this was my house, but then again I was always a wishful thinker. I never took this as a good thing, wishing never came true, I was a realist.

I walked over to the dark shaded wood and metal display cabinet as black framed pictures adorned the inside. I saw a picture of a little black haired girl, dressed up in a usual school uniform. She was holding a trophy of some sort, plastered with fake gold paint over it. It reminded me of the art competition we had in secondary school I had won. I got this gloriously fake trophy as a award, but my parents satisfaction with me that day was far more worth anything as close as a trophy. Our art class had a oh so important art competition between each other, the basis was to paint a picture of how we felt about the winter season. I loved the challenge, as well as the whole room, it gave off a unique feel. The whole school had a oddly strict feel to it, with its cheap tiled flooring and sterilized white walls, the art room, well it was another story. It had light birch flooring, walls crazy colours. One was lime green, one was orange, the wall facing the board was white though, I guess each room needs one calming colour in it. There were five tables in the room that required stools to sit on, the fact that there were stools in a school made me excited for the class itself. Each table had years upon years of graffiti written onto the soft wood, I thought it added character, if not new phrases of inappropriate things I had not heard before.

I spent weeks on this picture, I wanted to win so badly to show my parents how good of a child I could be. I wanted to impress them, I had always wanted to impress them, maybe hoping that they would love me more. Its not that they did not love me because they certainly did, it’s just, they seemed so unsatisfied with my accomplishments, I wanted them to be proud of their own daughter. I had this entire conversation planned out when I was painting about what they would say.

“Oh this painting is amazing, I wonder what amazing and talented student did this.” A parent would ask staring at my painting.

“This was our daughters!” My parents would brag smiling ear to ear.

“Wow you must be so lucky to have a child such as this!” They would respond

“Yes, yes we do! She is the most amazing child ever, we are so proud to have her!”

Thus this conversation never happened, well not as I had planned.When I won though, at the open house, they were so thrilled with me. They took me out to my favorite place to eat, and talked about how good I was for what seemed like hours, that was a lovely day.

This connection got me back on track of what I was here for, what I had left my town for, to find my mother, to rekindle this lost feeling. I grabbed my black and fake silver phone out of my jumper and stole the wifi from this ancient house. As I was looking up what the last spending habits of my mother I heard a huge scream, a scream of morbid fear. I immediately jumped, dropping my phone as the back plastic piece broke out, memory card and battery scattering the floor. Though this wasn’t a major concern for me to worry about, at that moment the scream is what beckoned me, as I violently ran toward its direction. The noise was unlike a scream of fear, it was a scream of intense worry, of pain. It was loud, violent, as my ears reacted negatively toward how loud it was. I passed the dining room, through the familiar foyer, past the french doors that led into the study into the living room. It was morbid, I didn’t want to look. It was like when you kill a bug, you don’t want to look, but you have to so you can be sure its dead.

Red, its a violent colour. It is a colour of infatuation, of love, of hate. It has such strong emotions connected to it, it is full of strong emotions. Energy, strength, aggression, passion, or even danger. I looked over to the grey rug, but it was no longer grey, it was red, red with blood.

We passed the “Valentines Bridge” which was a strange site. It was shaped like a ever growing stem on a wildflower, its wavy metal with its curvatures seemed to imitate the plant, or at the least bit a snake on its path across a hot desert. The lifeless metal had a modern spin on the bridge, it must have been recently built. We walked upon its iron ladened bottom as I looked out onto the river. It was very calm, as was the day. Though it was early, around ten, the sky was blue as the wind was lifeless. The river was still, reflections of buildings were in abundance. The great multi level brick building beside the river seemed quite elegant as boats passed it. A mini Venice per say. I was walking forward when I had noticed Calvin had stopped, he was just staring, staring onto the great beyond. I walked over, trying to pretend that everything was okay, putting on a face.

“Get off! I screamed as they grabbed my wrists, tugging them to make me still. I was trying to escape, but their metal grips were unrelenting. I was scared for my life, tears pouring down, matching the dark rain.

I could see his grimy fists cover up my mouth, it seemed as if I had my darkest, most frightening dreams, coming true. They smiled, their yellow teeth gleamed as a few of their teeth missing, replacing them with holes. I glanced down to one of the strangers pocket as the light gleamed off a cold, heartless, knife. I immdiatly froze, paralyzed from frear as his bloodshot hazel eyes saw what I had been looking at. 

“Oh, you like this toy?” He asked laughing at his own heartless jokes, he grabbed the object from his pocket. He pulled the knife from its sheath, the sharp tip resembled the tip of a pin, i couldn’t even see where the blade ended as it slowly glided across my burning throat.

Quickly, as fast a lightning bolt hitting a tree on the countryside, I was released from the cold handles. Quickly I felt a pull on my left wrist, it did not let go. I was running, my eyes whipped back to  the two men on the sidewalk yelling and crying. I could only see the back of whoever had grabbed me, their striped hood covered their face, my only real way of guessing who the hell this was. The storefronts quickly passed as my knees felt a intense burn. I had no clue on the distance we had been going, but I  could not take any longer of an amount, my breathing was heavy. 

“Stop, just please I can;t run any longer!” I panted as the pain of the trauma that had happened with the intense running was nearly unbearable. The hooded figure quickly stopped, their bright orange and white trainers hauled as their tan hand released from my write. The figure quickly turned, I was rather anxious to see who it was.

I was not sure why I was so excited. This could just be another man like the ones I had just experienced, which was certainly not something to be excited for. At the same time I was still happy, my personality seemed to always hold glimmers of hope, no matter the amount of unrealistic or realistic that hope was. The hooded figure, could it be Calvin? Maybe he had heard me exit the hotel room, the heavy wooden door did have a rather loud and prolonged sound when it was shut, He could have followed me after he had heard the noise. Tracking my movements but didn’t want to tell me, for maybe he was afraid of what I would do. Then saw what was happening and had saved me just in time, striking when the moment was right. I was completely and utterly wrong. 

She had golden blonde hair, streaks of her fine hair were as yellow as honey and the straw in the summer time around the farms back home. It waved in the air as she took the striped hood off. Her crisp blue eyes held my attention, they looked like the cold icy waters of the Arctic ocean. She rose above my height, which was maybe why I had thought it was Calvin, they were identical heights it seemed.  Her face had a warm welcoming complexion. I was ultimately puzzled though, who was this incredible girl, and why had I been saved.

“Thank you.” I whispered, it was not adequate in the least bit. I leaned over, trying to catch my breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth I casually reminded myself. I had so much to ask and say but my parched mouth refused to move.

“You’re welcome silly!” She announced in peppy voice as a smile shown through, her eyes crinkled as her long eyelashes brushed away the water.

“Um, not to sound somewhat ungrateful, because I am not in the least bit, but do I know you? I dont want to sound like a mean twat, im just..” I could not finish my sentence, I was crying, crying like a huge seven year kid brat. I was ashamed and embarrassed to be crying in front of a stranger, much less a stranger that had saved my life possibly. The thoughts had just finally hit me about what had just taken place at three in the morning. Adding that to the realization to my situation I had been going through just seemed to not help, my tears were not going to relinquish. She sat beside me, the wet concrete ladened with gum and trash were what was holding me together at this moment. 

“It will be okay.” She whispered.

——-

“How was your sleep Ms!” Calvin asked as he slowly climbed from under the duvet. His hair was every direction, I could not help but chuckle a tad.

“What is it, is it my extreme attractiveness right now?” He let out a snarl as a fake bite to the air followed.

“Yes, you look stunning, all I can do is stare right now, its just, its incredible how amazing you look right now.”

“Well I don’t want to distract you any longer, I am going to take a long hot shower, don’t try and stop me.”

“I will not.” He let out a long stretch, fingers trying to reach the ceiling above him.

The door to the shower quickly shut, giving me time to think. I walked around barefoot, the carpet was incredibly comfortable to walk around on, its beige tone didn’t distract me from thinking, but it was enticing to sleep while staring at it. I stared out the huge window, looking onto the buildings, they were a great variety. Some were incredibly modern, their sea foam glass facade reflected the neighbors across the street while some were reminiscent of earlier times, the buildings intimidating columns appeared bewildering to my eyes. They were incredibly gaudy. I wondered what to tell and not tell Calvin about last night. I could not seem tense or stressed at all, it would appear rather mischievous. I pulled out the chair and sat in it, facing the window, it provided me entertainment until Calvin was done. He had nothing but a towel on, drying his soaked ginger hair.

“Don’t look this way!” He suddenly reminded me.

“I was not planning on it.” He slipped on a black top and put on a grey tweed bomber.

“Ready to check out?” I asked rather hurriedly.

“I already did, you dozed off in that chair. I wanted to retake a nice warm shower. By the way, I was down there, there was this simply stunning blonde down there. I wanted to ask for her name but I didn’t, I was to shy.”

“You should have!”

I dozed off for a couple hours, or so Calvin told me when I awoke from my deep trance. I vaguely remember my dream though, which is strange since I rarely remember dreams. The dream was more or less a blast from my childhood past. It was at the carnival that came into Gloucester years ago. The bight candy striped reds and custard yellows were mesmerizing, just as much as the large tents the colours appeared on. The pink candy cotton booths blended with the crisp autumn leaves on the trees beside them as you could hear the sharp minor keys of the carnival jingles in the distance, The dirt roads provided numerous dust storm as everyone ran around, sweets in hand. 

It was for my birthday, which was October twenty-seventh. I never minded my birthday to much, it was a nice distance between Easter for Christmas. My mum had asked if I wanted too throw a party, I politely declined her invitation, and in place of that I invited Calvin to the carnival with me. We were ten, young, and I poorly dressed. Till this day I blame my mother for dressing me in ugly bright pink and green button downs with forest green stockings, which will forever be stuck in the polaroid picture by my white door

The dream was somewhat pleasant since it was almost identical to my god awful past. The tiny ginger faced boy, who had more freckles plastered over his face then now, waited me with his navy sweater, scarf round his neck. He had always dressed well I guess, a natural talent he had. Trust me, its a talent if you are male and can dress like you actually care. When my mum and I had arrived in the old navy blue Volkswagen I looked out the tinted window to see him there, waiting for me. As I got out of the car he ran towards my direction and gave me a huge bear hug. As I was ten, I was soon to detest this hug and was embarrassed because my mum was there. Though inside it was a nice feeling, hugs are ALWAYS a warm radiant feeling of love, despite the current mood you are in.

“Are you ready for those big swing thingies.” His deep green eyes looked toward the north, I assumed the swings were that way, I could see the excitement in his eyes, they were gleaming. It wasn’t much of a dream, it mostly consisted of the two of us on the grounds, having fun on the ornate rides, eating tons of chips. But to me, there was a reason I dreamt this. At that carnival I was walking up one many steps leading to the tent that held some “exotic” animals. I tripped, and sprained my ankle as I proceeded to cry profusely. Calvin had not noticed until he had heard my rather loud shrieks. Before I could say help I felt a pair of warm soft hands pick me off of the crisp ground. when I wiped away the frigid tears I saw that ginger boy. I asked him a simple question at that moment.

“Will you be my best friend?”

I guessed maybe my small mind needed a frank reminder that he was there for me. I had always been one of those people that needed constant reminding that so in so was still there for me and did not hate me. I was a little over caring at the times I need not be, and the times I did need to be I was not. Luckily Calvin was a forgiving person. I was glad I had that dream as I looked at Calvin while exiting the Temple Meads Station. The glossy interior floor refracted the orange and white lights above, making a starry scene. I could hear the dozens of high heels being worn at the station as it echoed all the way to the glass and steel roof. I looked up to see the three rows of glass revealed a usual bleak scene.

“Hm, another place, I am tired as hell right about now. You know what would be lovely, a nice relaxing nap in a hotel. It would be brill. I say we should find some place before I snap and call you a whore several times till you resist and go on and find one! ” He was obviously a little moody and on edge, but I need not push him anymore. He had helped me with so many things, so this was more important right now.

“Fine, lets find one, but if so I am the one that gets to call you the whore. Since I am paying and all and since your lazy.”

“Deal.” He responded happily, his mood brightened instantaneously. It made me feel somewhat of a humanitarian, Im outrageous.

“Deal.” I turned a 180 and stuck out my pale hand. It was shortly greeted by a shake and a nudge. I took notice of our skin tones, he was still somehow darker. It was impossible for me to ever get darker, I gave up hope, though still jealous. We walked out of the cold station together. We exited the doors as soon as I heard a single word that made me smile ear to ear.

“Whore.”

Temple Meads was incredible. It reminded me of Hogwarts, which made me somewhat happy. Its unique clock tower and medieval decorating made me reminisce of my childhood novels. As I read the time on its over decorated clock, the time was 18:00. We hadn’t much time till the sun sat down below our weary earth. It started raining, my first reaction was”great”, Calvin’s first reaction was “Fucking Hell.” Guys are incredibly classy of a breed. He quickly pulled out a grey and blue gingham umbrella from his bag and shielded both our heads from the drizzle around us. I felt slightly romantic at that moment in time, which was a bit unpredicted on my part. I have never felt that way before now, maybe it was just the thoughts and surroundings that provoked this. I quickly reminded myself that I should not be thinking that way and to stop, so I continued to try. We did a slight jog past the streets, seeing everyone quickly pull out their umbrellas as I looked both ways before crossing. It was getting dark, dusk was about over.

“We need to find a place to dry off and sit before my hair gets wet!” Calvin screamed overtop of the overbearing sounds of nature as the rain picked up to a good tempo.

“You’re such a girl!” I screamed back to his face, though clearly I was right beside him. I enjoyed calling each other names. The brick paved street was starting to get more and more rain it, as the oil and the water mixed to create a collection of colours beside the curb. All the neon lights of cars, pubs, storefronts, they all reflected the lights off the street, it was a beautiful sight as of any. I could only imagine what this kind of site would be like in London, around Piccadilly. Just the thinking about it made me dazzled with wonder.

“Here, here! I call this place, I don’t care how much it is. I want a nice duvet and a bathroom to shower in and everything!” He ran toward the building to the west of the sidewalk we were on. The facade had a nice modern feel as the neon white lights spelled out “City Inn”. I could tell this was going to be a pretty penny, but at the time it was to dark and miserable outside to care any longer.

I walked in as Calvin was already at the counter asking for a room. The lobby had a clean cut vibe, it was a fresh modern feel. It was rather easy to unwind in the unhurried ease of lobby. Its fresh white walls seemed to balance out the bleak outside as the studio spotlights gave ambiance to even the darkest corners of the room. The staircase was the centerpiece of the lobby, it was in the middle of the white reflective floor way. The stairs were unsupported as the steps were sterile, it seemed a staircase to heaven in this situation. I walked up to the counter with him, as we booked a room, I gave the clerk my blue debit card, she punched in numbers and such on the computer as I gazed at her. She was a rather lovely woman, her dark eyes and chocolate shaded hair matched perfectly with the abstract painting behind her. She told us a thank you as we hurried to our room.

“I am now going to not ask how much money this place was before I enter, as I am sure judging by the fact this place has abstract paintings it is surely expensive.” As I gave a mildly sarcastic tone, though I really was serious about not wanting to know.

“Fine, and I will not tell you how much it was, except it was totally around 100 pounds.” He winced as I faked punched him. He continued to shine his bright smile when we opened our third story room.

We gave a awe, currently no words could describe how we felt at that moment. The room was incredibly luxurious as was knowing we had a nice place to hide from the rain. The room had a light birch wood theme, as a floor to ceiling window covered two thirds of the front wall. It showed the sparkling city lights, we could see hundreds upon hundreds of meters of rain, cars, and street lights. The bed was a King size, both sides had symmetrical tables balancing each side of the room as nickel covered lamps shined brightly on each side with there dark cream coloured shades. On the right side of the wide room was a modern birch desk, as Calvin and I quickly sat our backpacks on it.

“Wow..” He said slowly, as if it to make sure I had not heard what he said the first time. He unwrapped his moisture covered scarf and layed it down on the floor.

“Wow.” I replied back, as we quickly turned to face each other. We both smiled to each other, we had just noticed how amazing this adventure was beginning to be.As well as quickly distracting me, if not for long, the hard realization of the true goal of why we were here in Bristol. We both kicked off our shoes and jumped right on to the bed, the foam gently sat us down. We both stared at the white ceiling for ages. 

“Is this amazing or is it not!” I whispered. I whipped my head around to see that Calvin was sound asleep. His eyes were peacefully shut. I just sat there, beside him. I rested my head beside his, his soft glow helped calm my nerves.

I could not sleep however, my mind was racing on what could be happening right now in my mums position. I reached over to the birch sidetable as I flicked on the lamp. My eyes reajusted to the light as my hands reached for the alarm clock. It read Two am, but that time was irrelavent to my mind. I quickly grabbed a raincoat I had packed and was soon back out into the pouring rain. I knew judging by my mums last purchase which was at a Costcutter, that I had a far walk to go. I began walking past several streets. The dark skies had nearly engulfed the street lamps, as most store lights were shut off at this time of night. The rain splashed as I accidentally stepped into a pothole, not seeing where I was going with complete accuracy. I could hear the cold, fearless wind rattle the flagpoles as heavy rain pounced upon everything in its site as I quickly turned the dark corner.

“Hey there little missy.” A deep voiced gave, as a tall dark man pounced out of the shadows. He stared deep fully into my eyes as to show no emotion as his greasy hair was moved by the wind. 

“Excuse me sir, I was just getting on my way.” As I walked the other way. Soon to be another short haired man popped out of the shadows, pushing me onto the ground. The cold hard pavement provided little comfort as I was scared for my very life at this moment. 

“Now missy, we just want to spend a little time to get ta know ya, see us partna’s been rather lonely lately.”

“Mkay, I wont go, but I actually am so lead the way Miss Princess.” He grabbed a bag out from his room, it was already packed.

“Why do you have a backpack?”

“You are very predictable.” He winked as he started climbing down the steps with me. I walked, head strung high with my flats chugging across the road as brilliantly as ever. My hair floated through the air as I looked at the store lined fronts of Gloucester. The glass fronts had brilliant displays as the lights flickered off as the sun rose from the morning. The road was empty as were the sidewalks.

“Your a whore” I screamed as I secretly enjoyed him continuing to walk behind me. We started running to the nearest train station as he chased me like a game of tag.

I tugged the card out of my pocket as I transfered money out of the nearest ATM. I walked up and bought Calvin and I tickets. The machine quickly spit them out as I was being distracted by the cheesy 80′s music being played at seven o’clock in the morning. I grabbed them as I walked out onto the concrete platform. Calvin was standing a few meters away, texting on his blackberry. I had tried my best to look decent before I left for this trip. The check swing coat barely did the job of keeping me warm, but it looked lovely on me. I guess its the price you pay. the English weather was well, english. The hard screeches hit my ear like the noise of your alarm clock going off in the morning. It was both annoying and familiar. The trained pulled up as I mostly saw business men dressed in their usual attire walk into the cold plastic interior. He followed behind me as we picked out the seats that were the most distant from any other humans in the vicinity.

The train had started rolling forward as the train station soon was but a faint memory onto the horizon. I wouldn’t of thought I would be rather sad seeing this happen, but the feeling overcame me. The pine trees and rolling hills along with the winding cold rivers soon became all but unordinary. I looked across my seat expecting that I might be able to have a quiet conversation with Calvin to lighten the mood but he was already far into sleep. His eyes closed and his head leaning slightly to the right of the headrest. I rested my hands on my chin as I continued looking at the every chancing scenery. We passed a couple towns, all unique so to speak but to me just were the same old things. They each had typical brick roads and brownstones. I quickly fell asleep to the sweet lullaby that was the ordinary.

I was pulled back as the train jerked to a complete stop as I saw Calvin’s wide eyes staring at me.

“Are you ready to go now!” He said quite loud as to try to give me a headache. I slowly got up and pulled down my gingham yellow skirt and got my belongings. We both smiled as we collected our thoughts and both walked out the metal doors into the big city. 

We were both having a little picnic in Victoria Tower Gardens. It wasn’t a ideal spot to have a picnic at but it was close to Waterloo so it wasn’t much of a walking distance. Truth be told I had only gone to London once in my lifetime, when I was around six so I do not remember much of it. The benches here were not the most comfy. The grey concrete just mirrored the grey sky. Though Calvin and I did enjoy discussing the boats that went across the river. The park wasn’t much of a park. It was more or less a large patch of green then trees by the river with benches. I guess that is enough to call a park. I wondered where my Mum could be and why she was here in such a rather gargantuan city. It said her last purchase was at a small local cafe in the Kensington Area. Which I do not completely understand, if my mother has been living in Kensington I am not sure how she could ever afford it. I kept this on my mind as Calvin and I were eating our blueberry whole grain muffins.

“Hey, wanna go on a walk.” I questioned while continuing to eat my blueberry muffin.

“Depends, where to?”

“Oh, just wait ya’know, you will find out eventually n stuff.” I replied. Was I going to tell him how far Kensington would be from here. I thought about telling him but it was not entirely worth having to here him complain about how many more kilometers we had till we were done walking.

A few thirty minutes later went by along with a few discussions about why and why not Kate Nash and Lily Allen were much of the same thing. I personally thought they were more of the same. They sounded bland and random, with the same beats and accents. He disagreed, I am not sure how that debate seemed to carry on for quite some time but it did. I could tell we were at this particular district when I started seeing the glitzy stores bedazzled in extravagance. One display had dozens of gold diamond and topaz jewelry, the display sparkled. Its black backdrop seemed to show how pure the jewelry was as it was framed by the outer layer of glass and marble slates surrounding that. It reminded me of a persons heart. I think everyone;s hearts are like this display, they are pure and simple. Though sometimes they can be taken over by dark things, maybe that is what happened to my own family before I could take a notice to it.

We walked along the golden sidewalks as all I could see are individuals dressed in high class summer dresses and pinstripe. The road was lined with Anne Fontaine, Gucci, and Graff as a poor old mini sandwiched between the yellow Porsche and the MB S-class were in the street. I could see the trees lining Hyde park on the corner of the street, the trees made a faint rustling sound. We walked up to the cafe my mum’s last purchase was at. It was called Cafe Diana, judging by the two etchings in the front window. It was a quant store. The few iron seats and tables outside were empty for the time being, as it was soon after lunch.

“Where she used to take William and Harry for breakfast once in awhile,” Calvin interrupted breaking the odd silence.

“How do you know that, thats really random,” I questioned as I stared at the dark framed wood surrounding the cafe.

“One of those documentary things I saw one day.”

“Oh” I didn’t really know what more to say. What do you say to something like that, I am not entirely sure. I looked into the ornate building when I saw that the cafe was plastered entirely full of pictures of Princess Diana. Wall to floor, each end, all framed pictures filling up each little wall.

“Come on, some coffee wouldn’t be so bad now would it, also im hella tired.” Calvin said, he was clearly excited to go into this cafe from this documentary. Maybe there were still things to learn about him. I thought I had him figured out but I guess not. All the late night saturdays we spent together watching X-factor I thought I had him down pat. His ginger headed self was so easy to predict, what had happened in the last few days.

He opened the medium oak double paned door and let me go through. We both entered in awe of the interior. The walls were all painted white, not that you could tell because of the pictures. Its chic glass lamps seemed to float down from the ceiling, the entire room had a studio feel to it. We sat on the left hand wall, most of the pictures had a background of olive green or grey hues. It gave off a collage feel as we sat in the wooden booth. I wondered how old the building was as I looked at the scratches in the seat and the aged crown molding.

“This place is borderline creepy to me.” I noted staring at all the pictures of princess Diana. Was I a bad person for saying that, I know how much of a humanitarian she was though.

“Well I think it is a nice memorial, maybe your just the freak in this situation, no wonder your mom left you.” He said as it echoed in my eardrums. I quickly looked to the corner of the table and walked up going toward the bathroom.

“Wait, I didnt mean it like that, you know that, Lexi..” I ignored his excuse. I know that he didnt mean it but that didnt mean it did not hurt. What would he know, he had never been in this situation before, how would he know how I felt.

“Its fine, I was just getting up to ask the workers if they have seen my Mum, thats all.” I quickly lied as to not start anymore drama in my life. It would be easier to pretend I was fine then go through a fight right now.

I walked up to the counter, the displays around the counter were filled with pastry’s and sweets. The employee was working on the white cash register on the opposite end of the counter, I could see he was wearing a striped maroon and white button down. The albino plates and bowls were stacked up on that wall as well on metal cupboards. The top of the cupboards had little Diana memorabilia. The black haired man turned the corner to look at me, he looked rather italian judging by his looks.

“Can I help you?” He asked me. A simple question, and I had one thousand answers for that question.

“Um, yes actually. Well, hm, it is kinda hard to, mkay, Im looking for this woman. She has medium golden brown hair, blue eyes. Sorta like me but old? Im sorry Im really not the best explainer in the world now am I.” I chuckled as I looked down onto the wood floors, rather anxious to get out of his way. I was rather shy in front of stangers, however Calvin was not.

“Do you mean your mother?” He asked as it quickly caught my attention.

“Hm, I guess ya got me, yes actually.”

“There was one woman a few nights ago that looked similar to you actually, though I do not really recall much. I see a ton of characters daily ya know. Damn job.” He replied while having a canary yellow towel in his hand wiping a glass cup. I was slightly offended that he said I looked like my mum, because that was obviously important.

“Well I overheard her on her mobile, she mentioned something about something something, but I do remember her saying something about Bristol. Hope that helps kid.” He finished.

“Thanks!” I said as I soon took off for a quick fast paced walk, grabbing my belongings quickly and going out the same door. Calvin quickly followed and ran up to me, his hair was messed up, but it looked nice.

“What was that all about!” He said in a surprised tone. Our feet made large clicks along the ground as the wind was moving faster than ever. We were almost at a jog.

“Looks like we are going to Bristol.” I replied as I took a sharp turn at the corner of the street. I could see the underground sign a few blocks away.

“What about my clothes..”

“hmg, Lexi, wait, why are you on my patio?” Calvin rubbed his eyes, as if to double check if my presence was really there or not. He walked forward, all he had on was plaid boxers and a grey shirt. I reached down to grab Lucozade from in my backpack. I held it up as if it was a trophy as I smiled.

“I felt bad so I thought I could throw a surprise party, and get some Lucozade. I know its your favorite.” I quickly handed the drink to him as if he was accepting some major award. I walked back over to dig through my backpack as I grabbed the pink and grey stripped blanket and laid it down. I sat down, my back laid across the blanket, face toward the stars.

“Sit down before I kick you!” I whispered as I motioned to the spot beside me. He quickly laid down as he was chugging his Lucozade. His bangs flew back to the earth as wind motioned every which way. It was silent for far to long. I loved silence though, people have gotten far to accustomed of noise everywhere when sometimes they just need to listen to the silence of life. It continued, for what seemed like ages. It seemed as if both of us did not mind though, it was the opposite of awkward silence.

“Hey Lex,” He turned his head away from the sky to look at my frosty cheeks and pale blue eyes.

“Hi Calvin,” I smiled as I turned to face his splotched freckled face. I always hated how green his eyes were. Even in the night they were as vibrant as emeralds. I got lost in them, as silly and stupid as that sounds. Wow I just thought that, what was I a preteen Jonas Brothers fan.

“Would it be an inconvenient time to ask about what I know nothing about, or no?” “It would be a lovely time if I do say so myself, but first off I would like a drink of your Lucozade, I am gonna need it if I wanna get through the night.” As I grabbed the drink before he could try to protect it from me. It seemed like forever that I had explained what had happened that night. I regretted bringing him into this, no ginger boy deserves this amount of stress. Much less when all he ever thinks about is how he looks and concerts. His miniscule brain size could probably not handle all the data that I just had told him in the past hours. I would not blame him if he quit being my friend at that moment.

“Im not going to quit being your friend whore, we have been through Mrs. Walbergs French exam together studying for hours, its much more worse than now.” He said still looking up to the sky, it was getting a dark navy blue. How did he, I wont ask, I guess friends can tell these things. It was nice having a friend like him, I guess I was pretty lucky. I stretched toward the skies, then continuing to pick up my backpack. I reached toward the fire escape to the left hand side of the balcony as I started my plan.

“So lets go eh? Im ready to!” He said enthusiastically. I was rather shocked.

“Wait what, Calvin Im going to London, and then there is school, and you have that test on Wednesday with Ms. Evener, you can’t miss that.” I tried to quickly spit out reasons why he shouldn’t accompany me, though in my mind I really wanted him to come. I was just afraid, I had been going to London because I had looked up Mum’s last items she spent and they happen to be in London. London was such a big, wondrous city, I would be scared if I didn’t have someone to back me up. I know it was selfish to wish this upon me at the same time.

“Sh, just stop, I am going. I have always wanted to break away from this little town Lexi, and who hasn’t had some teen angst in their own life’s. I mean, its a test, its not a big deal in the grand scheme of life. Just think about ten years from now. It’s what I was thinking about when you were explaining things to me. I could stay here, in Gloucester, or I could go with you. Which is more important ten years from now. Also I need some new clothes.”

“…Lexi?” I turned around, my eyes looked upon Calvin. He was standing, looking into my eyes, my soul. His navy blue cardigan matched the feeling I had in my soul. He was walking closer. His white canvas shoes were hope against the dark stone it walked against. His feet made a clunk against the stone as he sat down. His deep green eyes pierced into mine. I spoke without words at that moment. He needn’t ask, as a teared rolled my cheek. I sat my head on his shoulder, speechless as my gold brown hair flew in the wind. His ginger hair blended with mine as he just sat there, not saying a word. Its exactly what I needed him to say.

“Tomorrow?” He asked in a faint whisper. I nodded.

The sun glared into the window as I awoke. I slept at Addison’s house, I just said that I didnt feel like staying at my house because it was boring. It was enough to convince her luckily. I grabbed my phone as to see what time it was. The lcd lights screamed a loud 10:30, which was rather early for me considering it was the weekend. Addison was still in bed, I quietly arose, heading out onto the Westgate Street. Few people were out and about at this time of day. I had mixed feelings now, I really needed a psychiatrist at this time in my life. Maybe to my dad it did seem sudden for me to snap like that, but I couldn’t help it, though it was so unlike my personality. I tried to act calm and collected about so many things in my life when underneath it all I just wanted to scream. I couldn’t do that though, it would make me seem freakish.

I knew my dad left for work on Saturdays around thirteen, I needed to go into the house though I couldn’t bear looking at his face. My feet clacked upon the brick as I started walking to Eastgate, I liked spending time shopping when I was upset. As I looked through the glass panes of so many stores, I thought about where I stood at this point in my life. It was such a mess, would it ever get cleaned up, do peoples life’s ever get cleaned up or do they stay a eternal mess. Maybe thats what humans are and will always be, a mess. The sky was a deep blue hue, somewhat unexpected going on English stereotypical weather patterns. I turned the corner, heading to H&M as it was where I bought most of my clothes, also I didn’t have any other thing to do for two hours.

“Calvin?” He was there, sitting on the birch bench next to the store with his blackberry out. He looked up, his plum and grey scarf slowly moved in the slight breeze. I was not sure if I was glad to see him there sitting or upset because I wanted time alone.

“Hey, how are you,” He asked, his tone of voiced was a mix of welcoming and tired due to waking up so early and sitting on a bench when it was ten o’clock. Why did he care, I wasn’t used to him listening to my problems. Should I ask what is wrong with his brain or take it as a compliment. Was I over thinking a simple greeting, yes.

“Um, fine I guess, why are you here?” Should I have asked why he was here, 175 cm. tall waiting for me. I guess this is why he was my friend in the first place. I remember when we were both little, it had to be when I was around seven years old. We both had the same gym class together that day, I did not want to play soccer because I was afraid of being hit. I remember starting to cry because the coach needed someone to play for the team when suddenly a skinny looking ginger boy raised his hand volunteering for me because he didn’t want me to cry any longer. Thus began the friendship that is still in effect.

“Well I figured you’d come here since you like spending your dads pounds like the spoiled little rich twat you are. Seeing you were upset I thought it may be of use to help you lighten your day, and oh also, you have some explainng to do aswell. I can wait though.” His face lit up as his teeth glimmered, his freckles wrinkled under his dimples. My feet dragged along the ground as I was quickly resenting telling him that I would explain things.

“Uh, you suck.” As I pushed him with my cold hands. My necklace jingled as it moved back and forth.

“Um okay how about Costa Coffee?”

“Really, that place. Because I kinda hate that place with a fiery passion.”

“Yes really because I happen to like that place and because its not far of a walk from here. I don’t feel like walking all day thank you very much!” As I smiled and started walking towards the cafe. Sometimes I put up a front, this happen to be a time that I am. I didn’t want Calvin noticing issues I had, Im not sure why but I know it would be for the better. Some things are better left not knowing. I reached for the cream as I poured it into my coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed watching the white mix and make a warm chocolate brown colour. The table was rather high as I was short, which i disliked thoroughly.As I waited for Calvin to come back from the restroom I looked out the tinted window. The cars flew by as life happened. Maybe this is what life was, sitting in a toasty cafe, waiting for a good friend to come drink warm coffee with you. All the stars up in the sky, all the matter in the world couldn’t compare to the amount of thoughts I was having. Cafe’s always had warm greetings in my mind. The maroon seats matched the wallpaper by the bathroom doors, as with the gold coloured lights with the cups. I could spend my life in this checkered palace sometimes.

“Hello love,” He smiled as he sat down in the booth.

“He’yo, I have decided I kind of sorta hate this place at the moment, so we are going to my house and breaking in. Also because I know how much you want all Costa Coffees in existance to go to hell. Gosh I am such a savior to your well being Calvin, sometimes I just DO NOT know what you would do without me.”

“Hm, I think I would be sleeping In a very warm inviting bed.”

—-

“So, lets get this straight, you need inside your house for a various reason that you have yet to tell me to get things that you also wont tell me. Of course this makes sense to me Alexa, why wouldn’t it.” He knew that calling me Alexa instead of Lexi would get on my nerves. Why did I need to explain anything to him, he is supposed to be a good friend and not ask me these questions. As I looked up to my second story window I had absolutely no clue how to get into that flat of mine. Should I have also stolen a set of house keys, yes. But I also have another lesson learned.

“Oh there is a ladder in the shed out back, if you could find it please then I will give you more awesome points.” He shrugged, gave me one of those,”you owe me looks” and continued to the back.My gingham skirt flounced as I walked over to the iron ladened gate. My hands grabbed the spikes as I looked up to the sky. A plane flew by, leaving its usual sound up in the world. I loved imagining the type of people in that plane and their little stories they had. Maybe there was a little boy with his mom flying to London to meet his dad for a family reunion or a lawyer flying to cover a large case for a jury. One of these days, I will be up in that cream sky, wondering who is down on the flat earth wishing they were up here with me.

“Um, here, do you know my intense fear of heights? I expect you are doing this unknown deed by yourself and I can just look down here and sit watching you. That would be nice, I mean, (A) I havent even asked you about last night, and (B) Im reeeeally tired right now. Do you know how good a bed sounds right now, despite my being awake for little more than 4 hours.” For some odd reason the tone of his voice seemed a little worried. Sometimes I forget to thank people for the things they do for me, and that comes off as being a tad mean.

“Calvin, thanks.” I whispered as I grabbed the metal ladder out of his hands. I pulled the ladder out and set it next to the twelve pane window which was to my room. I hadn’t exactly remember if I had locked my window or not as my shoes quickly climbed up each step. My pale hands pulled up against the window, I was in, luckily.

“Hey! Im in, I’m in!, okay as your superior I give you the ability to go home and sleep in your nice room now.” I smiled as my head popped out the window. He waved goodbye and started walking off past the Elm trees in my front yard. I continued looking at him walking in the distance until the Oak trees covered up his path. I slipped off my shoes on the dark aged wood.

The shades moved back and forth from the wind as the calm noise of people and cars came from the outside. I flicked on the pink and white lamp on the glass bedstand on the right of my window. The 4×6 picture of my Mum, Dad, and I at the zoo when I was six years old. I remembered jumping up and down because my mum had bought me a cat headband from the gift store. My cute pink dress matched perfectly with it. We were so happy back then, all hugging each other. A crystal tear fell down my flushed cheeks. I had to get that back, that six year old and her parents back.